— Pride and Prejudice (1813), Chapter 58
About this quote
हिन्दी में
मैं व्यवहार में तो जीवन भर स्वार्थी रहा हूँ, सिद्धांत में नहीं।
What it means
Look at the exactness of the accounting. He does not say he was a bad man or a proud one; he says he was a selfish being — a noun, a condition, not a list of incidents. And then he adds a qualifier that half-rescues him: in practice, though not in principle. The confession and the defence arrive in the same breath.
That is what makes the line worth keeping rather than merely admirable. It is usually quoted as a model of humility, but a man who is genuinely levelled does not draft his apology this carefully. The sentence shows someone who has learned something true about himself and is still, in the phrasing, protecting his own good opinion. Austen lets both be true at once.
What it teaches you
When you next apologise, notice the clause you add after the admission — the though, the but, the explanation of what you always meant. It is not dishonest, and it may even be accurate, but it is the part of the sentence doing repair work on you rather than on the person you wronged. Try saying the first half and stopping.
अर्थ और सीख
डार्सी यहाँ यह नहीं कहता कि उसे ग़लत बातें सिखाई गईं — वह कहता है कि वह व्यवहार में स्वार्थी रहा, सिद्धांत में नहीं। ध्यान देने लायक़ बात यह है कि स्वीकारोक्ति के साथ-साथ वह अपनी सफ़ाई भी उसी वाक्य में रख देता है। सीख यह है कि माफ़ी माँगते समय जो ‘लेकिन’ या ‘मेरा मतलब तो यह था’ हम जोड़ते हैं, वह सामने वाले की नहीं, अपनी छवि की मरम्मत करता है।
Where it comes from
Darcy, near the end, looking back at the man he was. He does not claim he was taught bad values; he says he was taught good ones and never made to practise them.
That distinction — between principle and practice — is the real hinge of his character, and it is why his change is believable. Nothing he learns is new information. He simply starts doing what he already knew.
